wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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