This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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