i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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