The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
