Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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