I want to walk on stilts...naked
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
