Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
