he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
