when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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