You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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