found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
