You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
