I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
