is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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