Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
