what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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