At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
