I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
