I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
