Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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