dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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