Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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