i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
