we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
