you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
