FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
