I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
