Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
