Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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