You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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