Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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