Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She's the barista slut.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
