The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
