its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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