Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
it's great music for shaving your balls
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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