I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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