this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
