keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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