ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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