my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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