Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
