So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
