I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
