someone get that fucking seahorse.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
