Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
