I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
