separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
