After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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