wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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