That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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