so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
