My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
