That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
